Living Alone

It is just about four months now since I lost Norma on March 24th. I am doing relatively fine, leaning on friends. I have been down to visit Brooks a couple of times and he has been up here to help me with a fence repair and the granddaughters were up with their other grandmother to take some of Norma's clothes so I have not really been alone for extended periods.

Still, loneliness does take it's toll. I try to "do" something every day and have been pretty good at accomplishing this. Norma's (and my) friend Kelly has become my official housekeeper slash gardener and has been doing a great job at that although she never accepts what I figure I owe her. I have been keeping the house fairly clean on my own and in fact last time Kelly came in, looked around and announced the house did not need her attention. She also went through all of Norma's clothing and separated it into several categories and did most of the work in the dispensing of these clothes. I have told Kelly this and I really mean it, I don't think I could have managed the first few months without her. Thank you so much Kelly, I will never be able to repay you! Norma and I worked away from each other so much that I remained or became very adept at feeding myself  and doing my own laundry and such so that is no problem.

Overall, I miss having someone around to talk to. We always discussed things like financial and travel decisions and now I am on my own on these issues. Also the little things like our resident pair of eagles having a conversation from the trees in the back yard. I find myself wanting to call someone to come out back and listen to their performance with me but there is no one to call. The house is so silent now.

Brooks and I are holding a Celebration of Life on July 27th (Norma's birthday) and I am hoping that will bring some closure for us. I sent out an invitation to most of my email list but really have no idea what kind of a crowd to expect. I hope the weather is good so we can stay outside on the patios and the porch but either way, rain or shine it is happening. If you are a friend of Norma's or mine and I missed you, please try to drop in around four on July 27. Bring your favorite beverage and if you are local, a snack to share as well as a couple of chairs if you have them as seating is always limited. Bring your favorite "Norma" stories as I am sure many laughs will be exchanged.  Our friend Sharon tells me there will be some letters from people Norma worked her political magic with and for and these will be entertaining.

I know now that I am going to be OK! I will get through this period of my life! I know I am not good on my own and like Brooks says, "Dad, you need a traveling companion". I know he is right and I am starting to look toward the future instead of just the past and the present. I will be OK!