Sunday, July 14, 2019

Living Alone

It is just about four months now since I lost Norma on March 24th. I am doing relatively fine, leaning on friends. I have been down to visit Brooks a couple of times and he has been up here to help me with a fence repair and the granddaughters were up with their other grandmother to take some of Norma's clothes so I have not really been alone for extended periods.

Still, loneliness does take it's toll. I try to "do" something every day and have been pretty good at accomplishing this. Norma's (and my) friend Kelly has become my official housekeeper slash gardener and has been doing a great job at that although she never accepts what I figure I owe her. I have been keeping the house fairly clean on my own and in fact last time Kelly came in, looked around and announced the house did not need her attention. She also went through all of Norma's clothing and separated it into several categories and did most of the work in the dispensing of these clothes. I have told Kelly this and I really mean it, I don't think I could have managed the first few months without her. Thank you so much Kelly, I will never be able to repay you! Norma and I worked away from each other so much that I remained or became very adept at feeding myself  and doing my own laundry and such so that is no problem.

Overall, I miss having someone around to talk to. We always discussed things like financial and travel decisions and now I am on my own on these issues. Also the little things like our resident pair of eagles having a conversation from the trees in the back yard. I find myself wanting to call someone to come out back and listen to their performance with me but there is no one to call. The house is so silent now.

Brooks and I are holding a Celebration of Life on July 27th (Norma's birthday) and I am hoping that will bring some closure for us. I sent out an invitation to most of my email list but really have no idea what kind of a crowd to expect. I hope the weather is good so we can stay outside on the patios and the porch but either way, rain or shine it is happening. If you are a friend of Norma's or mine and I missed you, please try to drop in around four on July 27. Bring your favorite beverage and if you are local, a snack to share as well as a couple of chairs if you have them as seating is always limited. Bring your favorite "Norma" stories as I am sure many laughs will be exchanged.  Our friend Sharon tells me there will be some letters from people Norma worked her political magic with and for and these will be entertaining.

I know now that I am going to be OK! I will get through this period of my life! I know I am not good on my own and like Brooks says, "Dad, you need a traveling companion". I know he is right and I am starting to look toward the future instead of just the past and the present. I will be OK!


  1. Needing a travelling companion is only part of what you need but if you look for one you will never find them. Patience will find that special someone when you are not looking.
    Be Safe and Enjoy.

    It's about time.

  2. My dear friend, you are doing beyond fine. Every is different and need to handle things in their own way. You are a very strong person with great insight into life. You know what you had and now miss and understand what you need in your future. It will come.

    Meanwhile very special thanks to Kelly for all her support. You have to understand that by helping you she is working through her grief to the loss of her friend Norma.

    Hugs to you all. As you know, I am so sorry that we will not be able to attend the great event on the 27th. I know it will be a perfect celebration. Maybe we should hire a videographer!

  3. Nice that you have friends to share memories with. Peace.

  4. The celebration of life will bring you some closure. And you are doing very well. A travelling companion will appear some day when you least expect it. Nice to have some friends and family nearby for you

  5. Glad to hear that you are coping on your own. If something happened to me Eric would starve to death! Can't cook at all. We have had a number of friends widowed this year and it certainly makes you think. As you said I think the lonliness would be the worst. No one to share the little day to day things and thoughts with. Sorry we can't attend Norma's memorial and based on her colorful personality I'm sure it will be very entertaining and will give you peace. Take care and I do hope you find someone at some time in the future to share your life with. Life is short and we have to grab every little bit of happiness that we can.

  6. Even a dog can be a travelling companion. Of course a pet can't do lots of things you miss but they are really good at just being there.

    My sister recently retired and bought a motor home. She takes her little dog on her travels and it helps the loneliness.

    You'll get better at dealing with not having her but of course you'll never get over it.

    Wish I could drop by but we were never that close and I'm too far away anyways.

    1. Thanks Don. Like they say, it does get better every day but it still takes time!

  7. Baby steps... One step at a time...

  8. Glad to hear you are doing well and have people around who can help out. I'm sure the Celebration will be a great success as Norma seems to have been quite a woman. Best wishes!